


Stop Eating My Grapes!

by Zabbers



Category: Green Wing, The Thick of It (TV)
Genre: F/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-11-18
Updated: 2014-11-18
Packaged: 2018-02-26 04:44:10
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 393
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/2638532
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Zabbers/pseuds/Zabbers
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Even Malcolm Tucker's no match for this Staff Liaison.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Stop Eating My Grapes!

A hawklike spectre, all cheekbones and self-possession is spotted gliding past the children's mural--the one that's only been half painted over so that currently it looks like the bunnies are performing a satanic dance around the pantsless one's fluffy cock. 

"Malcolm Tucker! Back so soon? Been a naughty laddie? Letting the wee toffee-lickers in Whitehall get your blood pressure up again?"

Malcolm scowls at Sue White, but as always, she is impervious to his powers of terror and completely implacable. She perches at the other side of his overbed table and plucks a grape. 

"Haven't you got anything better to do?" he growls. She's about as welcome as an inappropriate spending report in the middle of an economic conference, which is to say, a little more than he wants to let on.

"No."

Sue eats another grape.

He sighs and tucks the papers he's been working with under his covers, where curious hands won't go prying into things they shouldn't. Well. Malcolm desperately hopes not.

Sue stares fixedly at him while she masticates grape after grape. Malcolm has long since learned that it's best not to try to get rid of her, because it's impossible. It's better to just wait it out. She'll get bored or something more interesting will snatch her attention eventually. So he glares back, practicing his death eyes. He might as well be looking into a two-way mirror for all the reaction he gets out of her (though, once, he made his faces at her and she just made them back, deadpan; it was uncanny).

But Malcolm is a little wrung out. It's true, the cuntery and idiocy at work have pushed him to the hypertensive blackout that landed him back in hospital. And he's just too tired for games. 

"Stop--just, stop eating up my grapes!" he snaps irritably.

For a moment, Sue looks affronted, maybe even hurt. Then, very deliberately and completely oppositionally, she reaches into the bag, picks another grape, and stuffs it into her mouth. Then another, and another, and another, and another, until seemingly two entire bunches of grapes have somehow disappeared into her mouth.

The dignity with which she steps off his bed and out of the room are only belied by the defiant snap of her arse as she sways out of sight.

Malcolm, to his horror, finds himself conspicuously aroused.


End file.
